The Dark Prince

Or a complete goose chase and waste of time?

Good evening children. Today we are going to talk about the internet. The thing that you’re using to get here. You know, that cable or card that you stick into your computer? Well that tiny little thing has the entire internet on it. Well, at least the useful bits on it.

Fun though it is to pretend that the internet is a wealth of resources, the fact is that the internet is rather like a second hand bookstore at a country fair. You can poke and probe and gentle turn things over and sound interested, but the reality is that you are *never* going to find what you are looking for.

Why is this? Well it’s simple. The internet is really lots and lots of little elves stuck in a box called Gerald and everytime a site like the infamous Goggle searches for something, they try and find it and give it to you. Unfortunately, this process is like asking a small child to get you an item from the shelf, they will look at what you want, ask what you want and get something that is vaguely similar, but completely useless.

Of course there are other elves in the box that is Gerald, but these elves are less nice. Not quite Orcs yet, but approaching it, they keep a box of pornsites handy and liberally sprinkle these references within the other elves carefully done work.

I know that this is true, because I read it on the internet.

Why am I ranting about this. Well, that stupid little essay that requires a grand total of 1500 sets of syllables wrapped together in a recognizeable fashion require me to have at least a couple of references. Now, really it should be a doddle to find the number of people various aircraft can take at one time, incredibly easy, right? Wrong, whether you type ‘aircraft seating capacity‘, or ‘aircraft size table‘ or ‘just please tell me what I need to know‘, the box of Gerald tries really hard but returns things which sound helpful, but aren’t. Bloody elves.